June. 2021; to be, or not to be

As the years fly by, sometimes we cannot help but being changed by our surroundings, our friends and social circles, our living and working environment et al. As the old expression goes, we are all “products of our environment.” The person you grow into and become will be far different from others, largely based on your family, city, country, and as painful as it is to admit, how much money your family has. Most of us just sail through life with a head-full of assumptions and presumptions (they’re not quite the same; see teacher for better understanding ;) ) knowing that some things will be fine and we have no need to ever think about them, and some things we know will need our fixed attention and effort at some point in the future. Example A; You’re born into a semi-wealthy family in China. You will probably never need to worry about bills or rent or education, but your family will be on at you to study hard and make a damn good future for yourself, produce a couple of kids and fulfil your family duties. Quite the opposite of example B; You are born to extremely poor parents in a third-world country. You never need to worry about education or studying hard because you’ll probably never go to school. You’re too busy worrying about getting enough food and/or money to last the rest of the day. These are clearly stark contrasts, but think about our part of the world, our wealthy cities and nice apartments, and then remember than more than a few of our neighbouring countries’ people are facing a lot more example B’s than example A’s. It’s not their fault, and it sure isn’t there choice, but that’s just how it is.

While I was away recently in Beijing and Shanghai I managed to absolutely devour the book “Down and out in Paris and London,” by George Orwell. Now he is one of the worlds most respected authors, although having only written 6 novels amongst other works, and most notable for the amazing “Animal Farm,” and the all-too-true dystopian glimpse at society, “1984.” But back before the fame and the glory, Orwell truly was a down-and-out. He worked in sweltering hot kitchens, washing dishes and taking endless hours of abuse, for just enough money to buy bread to live on. He was also homeless for a long stretch, sleeping in filthy conditions for months at a time and going without food for days on end. This book was seen ostensibly as a novel, but it was actually overwhelmingly an autobiography. How could this literary genius spend years of his life living and working in such slums? Quite simply, because that was the hand he was dealt. George Orwell didn’t really have any kind of wealth until he was 42 years old, and he died at 47, less than a year after writing 1984. Life just isn’t fair, but then again, nobody ever said it was.

The reason I mention all this is because while I was away in Beijing, I had several delightful conversations with a dear French photographer friend. One day we were chatting away over terrible food, and she mentioned how she has noticed herself personally change, living her life over the years in China. And as I mentioned quite recently, I absolutely feel I’ve changed too. Living in China for these years has totally changed my outlook on some things, on people and society and authorities and how we are treated, and how we treat others. I think it’s impossible not to change inwardly, when you come from a place that’s such a polar opposite. Many people who don’t know about China are all too ready to criticize it, but without being here for yourself, talking to people and seeing peoples lives, it’s about as factually correct as a blind man describing the Sistine chapel.

We’ve all experienced the measures to deal with the covid virus over the past 18 months. China was absolutely exemplary in the way the authorities went about this. Health codes, and now constant tests and checks, areas being locked down, and annoying as it’s been to us, it’s keeping us safe. Now if you were to look at my city of London and the people there, there is not a snowflakes chance in hell they would accept this kind of rule. There would be a revolution. Some people in other countries are so idiotically obsessed with “personal freedom” and human rights that they seem to be self-satisfyingly proud of the ability to spread a deadly infection. “It’s my right to not wear a mask and go to the pub.” Good for you, dummy. Is it also your “right” to spread this around and potentially infect others? If you and your family were wise enough to wear masks but your daughter contracted the virus from someone who refused to, would you also consider that their “right?” We can see how so many other countries are still in such a mess, but all their governments are concerned with is opening the borders so people can go on holiday, or open the bars so we can all drown our sorrows and get royally pissed. And the thing is, if I hadn’t lived here for the past decade, I’m pretty sure I’d be one of those too. We take in the opinions and feelings of others, and we protest things we personally don’t like or affect us in some way. But it takes very strong leadership to say “right, we are taking these choices away from you, for the good of everyone. Now shut up and trust us on this one, and do as your told. Thank you.” I can’t help but admire this, and I can’t help my feel sorry for others in my own country and around the world, who are still selfishly only concerned with themselves and not the greater good for all people. But the longer these authorities are more concerned with appeasing the people and not ruling them, the longer it will take for any semblance of “normality” (whatever that might be) to return.

I’m kind of going round the houses here a bit, but I’m just reflecting a little on the ways I’ve changed, and weighing up the good ones and the bad ones. Taking for example, I used to jaywalk all the time in London. Not a particularly serious thing, yet a thing nonetheless. But living in Hong Kong for 2 years and seeing a good friend of mine receive a hefty fine for jaywalking, I just daren’t do it here. Add to the fact that soooo many drivers use their phone whilst driving their car, it’s just not worth risking your life for the sake of waiting a few minutes. (As a personal side project, next time you’re passenger in a car or bus, look to see how many drivers are using their phone whilst driving. It’s scary.) Another personal change is just how many people I speak to now. The 7-11 shop assistant. The security guys at the metro. The old man sitting alone on the park bench. My days are filled with fleeting “good mornings” or tiny snippets of brief conversations. “The weathers so hot today.” “Have you eaten?” “Where are you going?” As romantic and classy as London may be portrayed in movies and stuff, it’s actually a very cold and really quite unfriendly city. If you spoke to a random person on the street in London they’d probably think you’d escaped the nearest mental hospital and were awaiting recapture. Older people in London are still a cheerfully friendly bunch, but the younger generation simply don’t have the time of day for others. For a country with the stereotype of a nation of elegant ladies and well-mannered gentlemen, many have lost their common courtesies and simple pleasantries.

Of course not all the changes are good ones. I find myself losing my rag at silly things every now and then, partly because of the incessant heat that quickly frays tempers, but mostly at things I see as damn rude impoliteness. The never-ending staring. Constantly being referred to as “that laowei.” “Look at that laowei! Look, look at him, he’s too tall.” Recently I’ve been exasperated at people refusing to sit near me on the metro. I sit down, they stand up and walk away. Morons read about “imported cases” of the virus and think “duh, must be from a foreigner.” (And seeing as it’s next to bloody impossible for foreigners to enter the country, perhaps they should be more scared of sitting next to someone who looks just like them…)

But at the end of the day, we humans are creatures of habit. We do what we do because we’ve always done it. I like hot coffee in the mornings and cold drinks the rest of the day, whether that’s during the summer in India or the winter in Siberia. I still can’t drink hot water, ever. And I can’t get used to the mix up of savoury and sweet here. Sugar in the bread, but pea flavoured ice cream. Oh no, thanks all the same. But other things I can bend with. Wearing shorts for 9 months of the year. (Nobody needs to see my white skinny crane-esque legs.) Spending 2 hours at the bank for something that should/could/would take 10 minutes. I’ve even been known to take an umbrella out in the sunshine, but thankfully on very rare occasion. But I feel being open to change is a good thing. If we remain steadfast in our opinions, our actions, we can’t possibly grow as people, or as human beings. This last 18 months has made the world think differently, unfortunately for the worse as well as for the better. We can see how just a year less of human movement has helped our planet take a much needed breath. (Watch the fantastic documentary “the year earth changed” for a startling wake up call as to how much damage we thoughtlessly do.) My time here, my conversations with people and my interactions with others, my travel to less fortunate places and witnessing how others have to live, has absolutely shaped my outlook on the world and it’s people. And where once before I would have instantly dispelled another opinion that clashed with my own, now I stop and take it in for a while. Mull it over. Why do they think that way? There’s always a reason. I’d much rather have a conversation with someone whose thoughts vehemently collide with my own, rather than to talk to someone so completely apathetic about life. Have an opinion, and listen to others. Listen more. Talk less. And even if your opinion may seem at odds with others, trust your instinct on things. Don’t forget, there was once a time when everyone thought the world was flat.

I’ll leave this week with the words of the great George Orwell; “Being in a minority, even in a minority of one, did not make you mad. There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad. It’s not so much staying alive, it’s staying human that’s important. What counts is that we don’t betray each other.”

Quite so.