May. 2021; The communication devolvement of humankind

In my 11 years here in the grand ol’ P and R of C, there’s many things I can reflect on and feel grateful for. Not material things, we can get those anywhere, but things like experiences, conversations, places I’ve visited, situations I’ve found myself in. And quite possibly the greatest thing I’m thankful for is the personal change I can see within myself. I didn’t come to China the person I am now, there’s been some big changes (nearly all good, I’m pleased to say.) I feel I’m much more aware of my surroundings than before. I’ve seen people in both very high places and extremely low places. I’ve had fine dining, vintage wine  and rooftop pools in stunning skyscrapers. And I’ve watched naked children eat rubbish out of bins in Manila. I’ve observed the second generation rich kids driving Ferrari cars and acting like spoilt ill-mannered children, never having to work a day of their lives, and I’ve also seen senior ladies and gentlemen carrying back-breaking loads of recycling to make enough to buy the most simple of food. Experiencing these stark contrasts can’t help but shape the person you are, somewhat. It’s hard not to be touched when you see such selfless kindness to others and to animals from some beautiful souls here, just as it’s impossible not to be sickened when you can see just how disgusting some people can treat life. To say the last decade has been a roller-coaster on the emotions would be a vast understatement.

We are blessed to take each day as a small but significant learning experience, although I’m not sure how many people actually embrace it as such. Over the past couple of years I’ve been trying to learn something new every single day. Now that might be watching an online lesson about colour theory or a YouTube video about the history of Geisha, but it’s something I didn’t know before. Some days it’s several chapters of a book about the art of writing or a few pages of Orwellian dystopia, but whatever it is, I’m trying to learn stuff. During April I was away for two separate photo jobs, but they both involved working pretty closely with kids of varying ages. Before I went on these work trips my experience with kids was very occasional. Having never been a parent or even an uncle, I feel I’ve missed out on a lot of interactions with kids. The trips to Shanghai and Beijing were a fantastic learning experience for me, not so much about photography, but about the minds of the next generation. Some of these kids were absolute angels, polite and respectful not only to us and their teachers, but also to one another. And without being too negative, some were the complete opposite. There was one international school in particular, where you could see such complete chalk-and-cheese opposites of kids, and main factor was their form teachers. Some classes were quiet and relaxed, and invariably their teachers would be firm but kind, and talk to the kids with respect and understanding. And yet in the same school another class would be out of control little monsters, screaming and fighting and hitting each other. And once again, the vital ingredient to this toxic situation was the teachers. Some teachers were just plain rude, faces like they’d given up hope, beaten down by children they simply could not control. Same school. Same age ranges. Different teachers. Wildly different behaviour. Now this I found interesting.

I was lucky enough that the kids in the Beijing part of the trip were all absolute angels, each and every one of them. Our group had 13 young ladies and 5 young gentlemen, and this quite possibly made a significant difference. Had it been the other way round it might have been a very different experience altogether. But one thing I learned from watching these different age groups in different places, was how they personally changed around a certain age. When they are under 10 they are mostly all sweethearts, a little shy perhaps and a little cheeky at times, but cherubs one and all. From around 10 to 15 or so they become unsure of themselves, they are all desperate to fit in and be the same as everyone else and not to stand out. To me, this area is quite a clearly divided line of maturity. The boys are often still acting like small children, whereas the girls are already edging towards being young ladies. Then from around 15 onwards they are absolutely their own person, they develop their own style, their own beliefs, some are still shy little children inside whereas others have already morphed into young adults. One young girl I did portraits for had two small (but very visible) tattoos on her left arm. I asked how old she was and she replied she was 15. I asked if her tattoos were real and she nodded, and showed me closer and they were indeed real. I told her I was 15 when I got my first tattoo too, and then she became animated and happy, and we talked for a couple of minutes. Now I personally wouldn’t want my 15 year old daughter to come home one day with a tattoo for all the world to see, but it’s not like I’m a position to lecture anybody. She asked to see more of my own tattoos and I showed her a couple, and she asked did I have any advice about getting more. I gave her the same advice I’ve given others, many times. “Think about what design you want for a long time before you get it. Don’t get anything you might regret, and don’t make rash decisions. Tattoos are beautiful, but they are for life.” I watched her expression and I could see she really took this in, and she politely thanked me. I then took her portrait for a few minutes, and off she went. Even though China is definitely opening up to the concept of tattoos and body art, I’m sure she would have already received a hundred lectures from adults about her two tattoos. I hope by me not being another one of them she got something out of our brief conversation. Lecturing somebody is truly the worst way of dong things sometimes.

The main thing I learned from this trip away, as I observed the children from day to day, in good moods and bad, was how good they are at communicating with one another when they are young. I truly noticed how some children were so good at expressing their thoughts and ideas, they talked well to each other, laughed and joked and really made an impression on me. Of course as soon as they get a little older they already have their faces permanently glued to a phone screen, and then it’s communication break down. Sentences that were previously polite answers to questions now become more like a series of grunts and “UHH” noises, as eyes cannot be dragged away from whichever shooting game or douyin video is taking up their full mental capacity. Now I’m not sure if it’s an educational thing, an age thing, a boy or girl thing or whatever it might be, but my question is this; When, as adults, do we lose the ability to communicate with others? Perhaps it’s a generational thing, but when I was a kid my nan and grandad knew every every single neighbour we had for a mile around. And they would stop in the street and talk to them. They would go round for cups of tea and gossip. My grandad would talk to the postman, the milkman, the bus conductor, almost anybody and everybody, and they would talk back. Now it feels like you could live next door to someone for 5 years and never say a word. Even being in the same elevator would cause close discomfort, eyes avoiding contact and getting in and out as quickly as humanly possible. My question to you is, do you speak to your neighbour? Why not?

I know I’m in a minority here, but I speak to loads of people. And not like a mental patient who strikes up conversation with strangers, but just a few polite words here and there to people I see and meet. Every day I say good morning to the security guards downstairs, and the garbage collection people and the cleaners too. When I’m walking my dog I say hello and try to talk to other dog owners, who most likely think I’m dangerous-slash-crazy. And every time I walk into any convenience shop I always say hello before I browse around, and on the way out I always say thank you. And it makes me feel really quite disheartened when I see people almost completely ignoring the people they should and/or could be interacting with. Here’s two scenarios for you, raise your hand if you’ve seen or done this yourself;

Person walks into shop. Chooses item. Walks to cashier. Puts item down.

Cashier picks up item and scans it. Cashier says the price (or not.)

Person holds out wechat/alipay code.

Cashier scans.

Person walks out.

Food delivery guys knocks on door.

Person opens door, eyes transfixed on phone screen.

Food delivery guy says “this the correct address?” and shows food ticket thing.

Person looks, takes food without any acknowledgement of delivery guy, eyes still fixed on phone screen. Person closes door.

Seriously, what the effing-eff?! No “please,” no “thank you,” no eye contact or smiles or anything. What’s happened to the human race? We are devolving! Next time you see a wildlife documentary and you watch the monkeys swinging through the trees yelling “oooh ooh aaah aah” sounds then don’t you dare laugh! That’ll be us in a few decades!

Now it’s no secret to those who know me, but I bloody hate mobile phones. Loathe the damn things. I loathe how much we rely on them, and how much we are forced to rely on them. The health code things of the last year have meant we are quite literally forced to own a cell phone. I hate all the bloody apps we have to use, especially the new thing of having to use an app to order food in a restaurant, Christ this annoys me… Just give me a bloody menu! And send over a nice person with a pleasant smile that I can convey my order to! Give me some human interaction!!! I am not a bloody robot!! I’m guessing that many (maybe most?) others don’t see this as a problem, but I can feel it snowballing into something much more… controlling. For decades there have been novels and movies based on the ideas of the future race, how we’ll all one day be micro-chipped and all our personal information stored on them. Well guess what, except for the chip (that day will come, mark my words) we are already there. It makes me laugh all these people who are worried about companies buying and selling their personal info, while at the same time using wechat pay, alipay, buying movie tickets and plane flights and everything else by using their phone.. Well guess what Einstein, all your personal shizzle is already out there, for all the world to play with. Companies know what you’ve bought, where you’ve bought it, how much you spend monthly and where you live, do you drive a car or not, do you have a family or not, all that stuff has been readily available since you stopped using cash. And that’s the trap. Trying to use cash now is… inconvenient. Try to use cash now and buy a train ticket in advance. Yeh, that means moving your lazy ass and having to actually go to the train station beforehand, oh no I don’t wanna do that… We are so reliant on our phones it’s actually taking away not only part of our memory and communication skills (scientists around the world are now gradually proving theories on the damage caused by inundating our brains with these awful Doyuin-type short video clips, causing long term memory damage and the inability to concentrate for extended periods of time, such as reading a book) but it’s also taking away our freedom of choice. It’s illegal in China to refuse cash currency as a form of payment, but I couldn’t count how many stores I’ve seen now that only accept phone payment.

Sometimes the Sunday scribble has a moral point to ponder or some kind of lesson to mull over. Sometimes it has structure, and sometimes it does not. And some weeks it’s just me thinking out loud and putting it all down on paper for those interested to read. This week it’s a little bit of all that. Does giving your kid a cell phone instantly turn them into a non-communicative zombie? No. Same as having 2 spoons of sugar in your coffee doesn’t instantly turn you into a diabetic (but let’s see in a few years.) Maybe there’s some connection between cell phones and our dying abilities to actually talk to each other, or maybe I’m just thinking too much. Perhaps my prejudice against cell phones is clouding my judgement. But let me ask you this. Would you rather call a person up on the telephone for a conversation, or would you rather send a bunch of messages? And another question, how’s your handwriting? As nice and neat as it was when you left school? Or is it an illegible mess that you feel slightly ashamed of.. We are all part of the same system now, we’re all churned up in the same machine. Trying to defy the use of cell phones is like pissing into the wind. We have to move with technology, we cannot avoid that. But, if we choose to think, we can be aware of it’s shortcomings, too.