Nov. 2020; Belief without Evidence

The late, great, American poet Dorothy Parker once said “if you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” This very simple opening sentence encompasses three things I’ve had very little dealings with. I’ve never been much of a poetry fan, I’ve never had much money, and I’ve been agnostic my entire life. But of course there’s a fine but clear line between religion and spirituality, and as I grown older I definitely “get” spirituality more and more. When I was a kid, up until maybe even 20 years old or so, I was pretty terrified of churches. I would/could never go in one. I could hang around outside one eating an ice cream or wander past one pretty nonchalantly, but if I walked near the entrance doors or too close to the outer walls I would get this weird kind of chill, like someone whispering a warning in your ear. To most people they are a place of peace and worship, but they always gave me an ominous sensation of grief. I haven’t been near a church or cathedral for close to 20 years at a guess, but over my time of living in this part of the world I find myself subconsciously drawn to temples and the such. In these places I do find the sense of calm and placidity that others have felt for thousands of years, but why is still an inward mystery to me.

One of the many differences between my home country now and my home country previously, is the general attitude toward religion. I’m half Irish, and my mother was catholic. She never went on about Jesus and Moses or anything other biblical, but she prayed like a nun and drank like a fish, the two real attributes of a devout catholic. Growing up I never had such interest in the bible. We had religious education at school, but that was studies about most of the main faiths, so as to give our impressionable minds a better understanding of what makes the world go round. London is an extremely culturally diverse city, in one school class you might have kids with 10 different belief systems installed in them, so it doesn’t hurt to know a bit more about them. Although I had zero interest in latching on to a particular faith, I found these classes some of the most bearable of my school life. I found it all to be a bit like Greek mythology. They are all just stories, after all, with gods and heroes and villains and tales of triumph. Seeing the weekly religion classes in this way made it more like story time to me. And who doesn’t love a good story?

One thing I find curious living in Asia is peoples outlook on faith. I’ve been to several places and witnessed peoples beliefs being such a huge part of their everyday life, in an unquestioning and absolutely natural way to them. The devout Buddhists of Thailand and Cambodia, the Shinto temples of Japan, and the Catholicism that seemingly governs life in Italy and the warm people of the Philippines. And I’ve been to dozens upon dozens of temples here in China too, but it’s surely a very small minority of people who let Buddhism, Taoism, or Confucianism lead their life. Talking the talk is much easier than walking the walk, as they say. I remember a few years ago being at the glorious Sik Sik Yuen temple at Wong Tai Sin during the Chinese new year celebrations, and I felt nothing less than overwhelmed by the sheer number of “believers” (*cough cough) there. Tens of thousands of people were there, 24 hours a day, to wave the smelly sticks around and ask for good fortune, better lives, improved health, good test scores on their sons Gaokao, a wealthy husband for their 30 year old unmarried daughter, and so on and so on and so on. But this makes me question, why are all these people gathered here, once a year, to ask for something, but the rest of the year giving nothing back? Surely this can’t be how it works…

As I mentioned previously, I’ve always been agnostic towards the universe in general, but that’s not to say I don’t believe. I just need a little proof and I’m there, I’m a believer. Some people don’t believe in God and that’s fine. (I remember one of my friends in London saying to me “it doesn’t matter if you believe in Jesus or not, because he believes in you.” Take from that what you will.) And some people don’t believe in aliens, which is also fine. (Personally I don’t think any vastly superior intelligent alien life form would have the slightest interest in visiting our dumb selves to observe us, it would be like Stephen Hawking watching a Korean TV soap drama. *in robot voice; “WTF am I watching here?!”) But, I have seen, and I do believe. Not in any form of religion as such, I haven’t felt the loving embrace of Jesus in a time of dire sadness or whatever, but in spirituality. When I was about 9 or 10 years old, I saw a ghost. After it happened I couldn’t talk about it for well over 10 years, but I’m fine with it now. And I don’t mean I saw one like 20 metres away, I had a very, very close encounter with one. And in proof I’m not mental I wasn’t alone, I was with a friend and he saw the exact same thing too. I won’t go into detail, but as long as I’m alive I know I experienced it, I know what happened. And just to push it even further, a couple of years ago I witnessed a miracle. Right here in Shenzhen, a 100% real miracle, and I wasn’t alone for that one either. With my own two eyes I watched something amazing happen, that is totally unexplainable. Miracle is the only word I know for it. Call me crazy, as any disbeliever would do, hell as I would do, if I hadn’t experienced those things for myself. But I did. You’re probably scoffing at this, thinking yeh maybe he thought I saw a ghost or witnessed a miracle, but in all actuality it didn’t really happen. But. It. Did. Those two events are enough for me to know, to my core, that some things we simply cannot scientifically or rationally explain, but they do exist. I believe.

Depending on who you ask, there’s lots to be said for religion. And there’s also lots to be said against it. Personally I definitely wouldn’t equate people of faith to being good people per se, the amount of murders and crimes committed in the name of religion is uncountable. And I wouldn’t say that people of no faith are weak or bad people in any way either. But I do have a certain amount of respect for people who truly let their beliefs peacefully lead them in life. When I was an opinionated young and obstinate teenager, I held the skewed notion that people who truly believed in religion were somehow weak minded, like they couldn’t deal with the real world and therefore used their faith as a crutch to help them get through the day. (Good stuff happens and it’s all “praise the lord!” Bad stuff happens and “the lord works in mysterious ways,” yeh, whatever.) But now I’m an old and (still) opinionated 40-something, now perhaps I see some of these people as very strong minded individuals. I’ve seen people in their 70’s and 80’s making the Buddhist pilgrimage, where they walk for miles upon miles, taking three steps and then getting face down on the floor to bow. This can take them hours, days, even weeks, and all in the name of faith. Now would the weak minded be able to willingly subject themselves to such a gruelling ordeal? There’s something inside that drives them on, something speaking to them that fuels them forward. Whatever it is, it must be something very, very powerful.

Possibly my favourite (and unfortunately now deceased) comedian used to sometimes talk about his theory of our limited view and understanding of the world and it’s creatures and creations. He was an outspoken advocate for freedom of speech and freedom of choice, an incredibly intelligent person, and on occasion he liked to use natural recreational hallucinogens. He would recall tales of when he took magic mushrooms, and the plants, the flowers, the trees, even the wind, would talk to him. How, under the influence of this natural wonder, his unification with the planet grew so much deeper. He said he could hear the earth breathe. It may sound ridiculous to most, but his theory was that god planted these natural wonders on the world for us to enjoy, and only by taking them could our minds be opened up to this whole new level of consciousness. It’s a common fact that we don’t use 100% of our brains, so what’s the rest actually for? He flipped the notion of hallucinogenics. He thought that by taking them it wasn’t that we saw things that weren’t there, but actually we felt things that were there.

The afterlife is something that not many people seem to spend much time giving any thought to. What happens to us after we shuffle off this mortal coil. It’s somewhat of a completely unknown concept, as not many people who’ve died have been able to fill us in on it. But there have been incredible numbers who’ve physically died on the operating table, next to the swimming pool or whatever, but have been brought back to conciousness, and who have recalled seeing a bright white light, moving towards a tunnel, even existentially seeing their own body from above as they look down upon their deceased selves. And it’s not like handfuls of people have recalled these happenings, there’s been hundreds, thousands. Maybe we don’t all see the white light. Maybe for most of us there’s nothing more. The lights go out and the shows over. But maybe, just maybe, there’s more. Personally I don’t fully subscribe to the concept of karma, but I want to believe it’s true. Heaven and hell, you can’t have one without the other. I want the good people to pass on and be in a place of tranquillity and to truly rest in peace. And I also want the war criminals and terrible historical figures, the people who’ve hurt and tortured, the people who lie and cheat their way through life and screw over others to make a few dishonest quid, to get what’s rightfully coming to them. Most people think death is the end. I hope it’s only just the beginning.

But all of this, scientifically, is next to impossible to explain. At this point in time, it’s much easier for us to explain the outer cosmos than the inner cosmos. But what we do know, scientifically, factually, is that if we truly do live in an infinite universe, then anything that is possible can happen, will happen, and In an infinite number of times. Scientifically we know that the universe is at least 92 billion light years across, with at least 150 billion other galaxies than our own. (And some people truly believe that we are the only intelligent life forms out there?! Come on, in 2020 we are still teaching people how to wash their hands.) If we take into account these numbers, the stars and galaxies planets and moons, the fact that the universe will continue expanding long after our ignorant species has destroyed itself and our planet, then the concept of gods, ghosts, aliens and miracles all of a sudden doesn’t seem so far fetched. Our own scepticism and disbelief might be the main thing holding us back to seeing more, learning more, feeling more and experiencing more. Perhaps more of us should believe.